Why the Hall of Fire is called the Hall of Fire
by blue candlelight 13
Summary: or, Princess Legolas and Aragorn the Dragon's Behind. Elladan and Elrohir decide to do a play to celebrate their father's birthday. Think of all that could go wrong...


_AN; this is the spinoff I promised, featuring toddler Elani, teenage Aragorn, Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas. The timeline might not match up, but this is meant for laughs. Elani is my OC, which you can find in the story, Elani (I wonder who the main character is…). _

_Disclaimer; I own nothing but Elani. Hahaha, I own a person! Think of all the things I'll do to her…_

Elladan, Elrohir, Aragorn, and Elani were sitting on a bench in Rivendell. Well, the first three was sitting. Elani was bouncing up and down, trying to jump to the moon.

"Ada's birthday is coming up soon," said Elladan.

"So?" said Elrohir.

"Do you think we should do something for him?"

"Like what?"

"Like something."

"Like what?"

"Like… a party."

"He hates parties."

"Do you have any better ideas?"

"How about we give him a gift?"

"That's too cliché."

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me!" said Elani, waving her hand in the air which so much force she fell down. Aragorn picked her up again.

"Yes, Elani?" the twins chorused, then laughed as they realized what they did.

"We could do a PLAY!"

"Don't be silly, that would never work," said Legolas, who had just arrived.

"Would too."

"Would not."

"Would too."

"Would not."

"WOULD TOO!"

"WOULD… gah, why am I getting into an argument with a toddler?"

"No idea," Aragorn said. Elladan and Elrohir didn't say anything. One way laughing too hard, and the other was giving Elani a piggyback during the fight so she would be taller than him.

"Hey, I got an idea!" said Aragorn. "We could do a play!"

"That might actually work," said Legolas.

"HEY!" said Elani.

"So," said Legolas, "What will our play be about?"

Everyone turned to stare at Aragorn.

"Why's everyone looking at me?"

"Because this was your idea!" everyone said in unison. The twins and Elani started laughing. Legolas rolled his eyes at their immaturity.

"Don't roll your eyes at us! Mama doesn't like it!" Elani said.

"I didn't roll my eyes!"

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Guys, let's not start this again," Aragorn said.

"How about it has a dragon?" Elladan asked.

"And a knight!" Elrohir cried.

"And a princess!" they exclaimed in unison.

Elani raised an eyebrow. "Really? Even I hate princesses, and I'm 7 – plus I am one!"

"How do you do that?" Aragorn asked.

"What?"

"Raise an eyebrow. I'm a lot older than you, and I can't."

"I'm… what was that word Elrond taught me? I'm magnificent."

"Anyways," said Legolas, "Does anyone else have any better ideas?"

They all shook their heads.

"Fine," Legolas snarled, "Looks like we're going with yours."

Elladan and Elrohir cheered.

"So, who will be what?" Aragorn asked.

"I'll be the knight!" Elani exclaimed.

"No. you're the princess," Legolas said.

"I'm going to hold my breath until you let me be the knight."

"Well, it's not going to happen."

Elani puffed up her cheeks and plopped down on the ground.

Legolas turned to the others. "Mother says it's just a phase. Ignore her."

"I'll be stage manager or director," Aragorn offered.

"But you're a good actor," said Legolas.

"But I have stage fright."

"Oh."

"We'll be the dragon together," Elrohir said for both of them.

"Okay, and I'll be the knight, and Elani will be the princess."

"Uh, guys?" Aragorn asked. "She's turning blue."

They rushed to Elani, who was indeed, looking like she might collapse.

"Stop, Elani, stop!" Elladan said frantically.

She shook her head.

"She's not going to until you let her be the knight," Aragorn observed.

"Well, she's not going to be the knight, I am. It's mine!" Legolas said, sounding like a toddler.

Elani's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed.

"Okay, fine, it's yours!"

She jumped up, smiling. "So, I'm the knight, Dan and Ro-"

"Don't call us that," The twins said in unison.

"Okay, okay!" Elani said, raising her hands up in surrender. "So, you two are the Dragon, Aragorn's stage manager, and Legolas is the princess."

"WHAT?"

"Well, the way I see it, you're the one without a part, and the princess is the part we're missing. It only makes sense…"

"No."

"Well, how about-"

"NO! I said no!"

"Take on for the team! Don't have us make you do it!"

"No! No! Never!"

She turned to Elladan and Elrohir, who were on either side of Legolas. "Knock him out."

One well-placed thump later, Legolas had crumpled to the ground.

When he came too, he found himself in a dress he dimly recognized as Arwen's. His hair was in an elegant up-do, and he had makeup caked on his face.

He stumbled groggily to the mirror, as he was in his bedroom, and saw what he looked like.

A girl.

There was a dainty tiara on his nightstand, with a note; _when you've stopped being such a baby, come to the big hall – that's where we're rehearsing. _

He groaned, but he went, as he had nothing better to do.

When he got there, he was in for a surprise. Elrohir and Aragorn had built an amazing makeshift stage, Elladan was working on a tower reaching to the ceiling, and Elani was sewing a huge heap of red fabric that looked a tiny bit like a dragon. Blood from her hands where she pricked herself was seeping into the cloth. Whoever let her use a needle was probably regretting it.

Elani looked up as she saw him enter. "Ah, good, you're here," she said. "You can start making the props."

She motioned towards a pile of wood and several drawings that showed exactly what they wanted done. Legolas blinked several times. He hadn't been knocked out for THAT long, had he?

Once everything was complete, Elani clapped her hands. "Great!" she said. "Now we can work on the script!"

"Wait, do you mean we haven't done that yet?" Aragorn asked.

"No, genius, we have, I just want to do it again. Of course we haven't!"

"Well, as I'm the stage manager, I'll do it."

"Okay! Jeez, if it means that much to you…"

"I can't do it!" Aragorn said, tearing at his hair. "It's not working!"

Everyone showed him their already finished scripts. It looked like they had expected him to screw up.

Aragorn considered being mad at them. Seeing as he had expected to screw up, too, he decided against it.

3 hours later, after approximately 2 rehearsals, they decided they were ready.

The first act was for Elladan and Elrohir to go prancing across the stage, singing "Happy Birthday." They made it through without any disasters, up until the last line. That was when Elladan crashed into Elrohir, and they both went tumbling backstage.

Elrond chuckled and clapped, thinking it part of the show. The curtains were lowered, and a backstage catastrophe happened.

"Ow…" said Elrohir. "Ow…"

"What're we going to do?" Legolas asked.

"He can't go out like this!" Elladan exclaimed.

They all turned to look at Aragorn.

"Well…" he said, almost to himself. "He can't go out like this… so, I'm going to have to take his place."

"But you have stage fright!" Elrohir said.

"You don't know the lines!" Elani said.

"I have no idea what to do back here!" Elrohir said.

"Well, we could always cancel the play…" Legolas put in.

"NO!" They all screamed at him.

"I know I have stage fright, I've memorized everybody's lines, I'll teach you what to do back here, and I'm not even considering cancelling something we pored our sweat and blood into," said Aragorn.

"I poured the blood!" Elani said, holding out her pricked fingers.

"Let's do this!" Elrohir cheered.

Meanwhile, Elrond was getting a bit impatient. There had been a 20-minute delay, and the entire show was supposed to last 20 minutes! He was a busy person, with schedules, meetings, and a to-do list three and a half feet long. He couldn't afford to wait much longer.

So when they finally came onto the stage, Elrond was relieved. Everyone else, however, was quaking in their boots (or princess slippers, for Legolas).

Legolas leaned out of his tower and said in a horrible falsetto voice, "Oh, I am stuck in this tower, where a dragon could eat me! Oh, how I wish a knight would come save me!"

Elani burst onto the stage, wearing a metal strainer and other dishes, along with a too-big gray shirt and pants, riding a… broom. "Never fear, I am here!" she said in a monotone.

Elrond was very confused. Why was Legolas the princess and Elani the knight? Although, Legolas did make a very pretty princess.

Then a tent of red fabric appeared onstage. Fire issued from its mouth, spikes shot from its tail, and it hissed, "I am fire! I am death!"

Elrond was impressed with the fire, but slightly confused as to what the tent might be. Who was in there, anyways?

Inside, an argument was going on.

"Move faster!" whispered Elladan, before blowing more fire out of the mouth with a handy device called a blowtorch.

"I'm trying!" Aragorn said, as he squatted along near the tail (in the behind area, as Elani so nicely pointed out), catapulting spikes through a small hole near the end. "You stepped on my foot! Ouch!"

"Suck it up, princess."

"That's it, I'm going to…"

"Shush! That's our cue!"

"I said, dragon, why are you here?" Elani asked in another monotone.

"I… um… am here to… EAT YOU ALL! Yes, to EAT YOU ALL! Starting with the princess!"

The tent turned towards the tower they had made on stage, growling, shooting more spikes, and blowing fire… onto the tower.

Flames licked up the tower, and Legolas screamed a very girly scream. He jumped off the tower, but too late – his hair and dress had caught fire. Panicking, he ripped off the hem, leaving it on the ground, and whipped out a knife and cut off his hair.

Another problem – the flaming dress on the ground had set fire to the stage. Aragorn and Elrohir probably shouldn't have used the most combustible tinder possible – and probably should have treated in to make it slightly less flammable.

Fire spread towards the dragon itself, catching its fabric aflame. Elladan and Aragorn rolled out from the mouth and behind respectively, and started running around, trying to put out their clothes.

It spread in the other direction, too – to the knight. Elani jumped out of her armour and off the stage, where she stop, dropped, and rolled. The toddler was the only one to do this. Maybe kids really are smarter than adults.

Elrond jumped on stage to… help? Catch fire as well? Anyways, the second was what he did. Elrohir limped on stage with a bucket of water to douse the fire, and Elani started karate-chopping people at the knees and telling them to stop drop, and roll – or in Legolas' case, as he was still mourning the loss of his hair, roll him on the ground herself.

Slowly, everyone got up. Elani put her armour back on and said, "Ha, dragon! I know now that you are just some thieves pretending to be the dragon! And I, with the help of my friend from the nearest village, have put out the wildfire that threatened to destroy us all. Now, in fairy tales, this is the part where the knight marries the princess," she told Legolas. "However, seeing as I'm a girl and you are too – and frankly, you're kind of a sissy – that wouldn't work out very well. So, see ya."

"My hair…" Legolas said, curled up in a fetal position. "Sure, whatever," he sat up. "Wait, did you just call me a sissy and a girl?"

"Oops…" Elani said, and raced off the stage, with Legolas pursuing.

Elrond started clapping as loud as he possibly could. "Wow – your special effects were amazing, your acting was so real – I could have sworn this was the best play I've ever seen! And the ending? Amazing!" He said, lying through his teeth.

"You really liked it?" Elladan beamed. He didn't know Elrond was lying through his teeth.

"Of course! Now, I have to get things done. If you'll excuse me."

"That actually went pretty well," said Elrohir. "Maybe we should do another play sometime."

Everyone turned to stare at him. They blinked twice. "NEVER!" they all shouted in unison. "Legolas will need therapy, the hall is scorched everywhere, your ankle is twisted, and you say we should do another play?"

"Okay, jeez…" Elrohir muttered.

And that is why the Hall of Fire is called the Hall of Fire.

_A.N; so, how'd you like it? I honestly didn't know it would turn out like this! This is a one-shot, so there won't be anything after. Please review or favourite (following is a waste of time). _


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